I don't want any plastics!

Yes, Sam Wainwright is making us fat.

So says the latest "theory" of fatness, anyway. In the latest results to come from the fattening of mice, humans are found to have a chemical that when fed to mice babies makes them fat mice in adulthood. And this chemical is found in 93% of adults!

Wait, 93%? I know they are freaking out about the fat people epidemic, but last I checked 93% of people weren't fat. So what gives?

Well, the scientists are getting ahead of themselves and the media is willingly playing along. There is no proof of anything here. It is just a "theory" with fragmentary evidence at best. Unrelated evidence at worst. But theory's are all you need to get media coverage when you study fat people. No pesky business of actually having to prove those theories. As long as it involves assigning blame for fat people, all ideas aren't just welcome. They are celebrated as fact just for being ideas.