5.10.2007

Pardon me, but...

Intentional weight loss is NOT FUCKING FAT ACCEPTANCE.

(Edit: I'm not linking to anything because this isn't directed at anyone in specific; just something I feel like I keep coming across for years)

I want to scream that every time I see some supposedly body issue enlightened blogger reveal that they are dieting. You want a diet? No one is stopping you. But if you diet, you have nothing to say about fat acceptance. That's not about ideological purity anymore than asking that people who claim to be Democrats actually be Democrats. I don't even care if what you say seems positive. Because you can talk a good game all you want, but if you diet you are rejecting fat acceptance and everything it means. All the talk will be just talk.

I always think about linking to other blogs but I never know if the author is going to reveal that they really don't mean any of what they are saying. I never know if they are going to start putting up fences about who is an acceptable fat person and who isn't. I never know if they are going to posting some weight loss scheme and acting like this doesn't contradict all the fat positive stuff.

It does contradict. You cannot reconcile fat acceptance with fat hatred. You cannot accept yourself as you are and be trying to lose weight. You cannot advocate for body acceptance and withhold it from yourself. And that fact that so many people try to take this position just shows the lack of respect they have for fat acceptance. Because we are contantly expect to put away our beliefs and put our our feelings whenever anyone wants to lose weight. WE are the ones who keep getting told to keep quiet while more important people talk. We keep getting told to shut up. We are the ones who are supposed to compramise, to repress our identities. I'm sick of it. This seems to only happen to fat activists. Its disrespect and we're told we have to just take it.

I don't want to take it. I want my beliefs to be respected. That means having allies who don't talk out of both sides of their mouth. Who don't express solidarity in one breath and completely bury us in the next. There is no such thing as enlightened fat hatred or enlightened dieting. Stigmatizing fat people is wrong. Its not kinda wrong. Its wrong. Dieters constantly expect fat activists to shut up about dieting in front of them. They act like its impolite or mean. All the while they keep pushing the notion of fat people as gluttonous monsters even if they count themselves as one. Well, I'm not playing nice. Fat acceptance should have its own voice. And if you don't believe in, you shouldn't be trying to subvert it by adding your own voice. Show some respect and let fat acceptance have its own space. I don't care if you believe 50%, used to believe, or may one day believe. Fat acceptance is struggling to be heard at all, and it won't help to have people in the chorus who won't sing in tune.

People who do believe in fat acceptance need to stand up for fat acceptance and stand up to people who wnat to twist and subvert it. You can be friends with people trying to lose weight and believe in fat acceptance. Come on, it would be impossible to only associate with people who believe in fat acceptance. You don't have to shout down people who are dieting. I don't. I don't go to weight loss sites to berate the people there. They have a right to their space. We have a right to ours. Just because a dieter claims to care about fat acceptance is no reason for us to give them deference. Fat Acceptance sites shouldn't be linking to weight loss sites. That should have been obvious, but it happens all of the time. I'm sick of finding what looks like a good blog with good insights and then see a link to a diet blog. Diet blogs aren't fat acceptance. They have nothing to offer fat acceptance. I don't care if some dieters don't like fat bigotry, either. That's not enough. We cannot allow advocates of fat stigmatization to set the terms and limits of our community. We cannot become a movement of the lowest common denominator. We should stand for something. We should challenge people to think different. If we limit ourselves to what everyone can agree to, we'll accomplish nothing. We need to have the courage to believe differently.

That's my rant for the day. Like anyone will give a damn.

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