Vote for Boston's Big Moves

Boston's alternative weekly, The Phoenix, is having a poll for their upcoming BEST issue. One of the categories is Best Dance Performers and one of the options happens to be the plus-size dance troupe Big Moves. Head on over to show your support for this great organization. The poll does require that you submit an email address to include your vote, so be sure click "Skip to Finish" after you submit your vote for Big Moves.

Big Moves has one this poll before in 2006, so it'd be great to see a repeat win for the fatties. If you'd like to donate to Big Moves, you can do it online through the Boston Dance Alliance.

Fat is Contagious: The Book

Old news to some, but since its getting some attention on NPR and The Today Show, I thought it was worth linking to Kim Brittingham's essay about her mass transit stunt, "Fat is Contagious". I probably shouldn't call it a stunt, since its really more performance art if you ask me. Frustrated at the way people refuse to sit next to fat people on buses and subways, Brittingham created a fake book cover titled "Fat is Contagious: How Sitting Next to a Fat Person can make you Fat".

Its a terrific essay and something most fat people will be readily familiar with. I know I got this treatment all the time riding the Orange Line in Boston. For all the constant fussing about how us fatties are squishing people on mass transit, the reality is scarcely recognizable. First off, most of us will stand even if there is a seat we can easily fit into just because we don't want to deal with the hassle of people getting upset at our presence. I know I do, and frankly I've never seen a fat person force themselves into a seat they couldn't comfortable fit into. I'm sure its happened once or twice, but its the classic straw-man. This just doesn't happen with the frequency necessary to justify the whining. Most people are actually upset that fat people were sitting there first.

Or they are just idiots. See, I got plenty of annoyed glances when someone saw me on the Orange Line, but I also knew darn well that I fit into the seat. I knew because I repeatedly checked everytime someone acted like I was invading their personal space. No, my fat ass fit just fine with room to spare. Which is when I started to realize the actual problem. Its not my fat ass, but their broad shoulders. These jerks were too self-absorbed to realize THEY were actually jutting into my seat by refusing the cross their arms in front of them. Instead, they spread them out to their sides while reading a newspaper. Guess what? No one can fit into a subway seat doing that. I don't care how thin you are, if you spread our your arms to read a newspaper, you've spread out your arms into someone else's seat. Yet everyone one of these people felt entitled to blame me for their inability to fit into their own seat. Because I was fat, after all.

Worst time was when I boarded the train and saw a seat open on an aisle. Though the aisle seats actual press against short wall, they are a bit roomier so I pick them to give me a little more room to deal with thin seat hogs. A person was sitting in the seat next to it, but there was plenty of room for me in the open seat. Well, not according to him. He had spread himself out while it was empty and refused to adjust when I went to sit down. So, while he was actually well into my seat, he huffed and puffed at me for squashing him. Eventually he stormed off to stand further into the train rather than just try to fit into his own seat and probably wrote some angry missive on Craigslist about the indignity of it all.

Brittingham does a very good job revealing the absurdity of this hostility towards fat people on mass transit and the book cover is brilliantly subversive. She has a very good story of a confrontation she had on the bus without even pulling out the fake book and the insane way people use "health" as a smokescreen for their bitterness towards fat people. A woman was blatantly angry at her for taking up space and having to endure sitting next to her could be heard justifying this with the tired "for her health". None of her concern was remotely related to health, but that's where fat bigotry always comes back to. The ultimate justification. When all else fails, you're just concerned for their health.

Anyway, go read it. The essay's a bit of old news, but if its new to you its well worth a read.

Changing the Conversation

The most vital thing for fat acceptance to strive for is a change in the conversation about fatness. Indeed, this is far more important than advocating or supporting individual conversion to fat acceptance because a change in the conversation ultimately needs to happen first or there will always be a glass ceiling on what fat acceptance can accomplish. It been up against that ceiling for decades and sadly shows no signs of breaking through any time soon. For all the occasional press and gradual conversions, little ground has really been won in the war on us because too much time and energy has been spent trying to reassure people that we're not really trying to change the conversation too much. Its no wonder we've done so little when so much effort has been given to promising that we'll do little.

Fat acceptance needs to embrace its radical nature. Its not that our goals really are radical, mind you. Indeed, embracing the radicalism of fat acceptance should not be seen as granting the efforts by fat acceptance's critics to marginalize it. All civil rights efforts begin as radical though they have all merely demanded equality and tolerance. Fat acceptance is no different, but we need to recognize that in the face of an oppressive society, such small requests will be seen as extraordinary and cumbersome. We need to push back against this attitude in order to progress. We need to challenge cultural dogma about fatness and dieting in order to change the way we talk about fatness and fat people as a society. That change doesn't happen by sitting around and waiting. It doesn't happen by making compromises and concessions. It happens by allowing ourselves to be seen as radical when we are anything but.

Radical is all too often a dirty word. I've bought into this myself, sometimes, as I've bristled at how the word is used to demean and subjugate moderate views in defiance of a cultural mandate. But I am beginning to recognize its value. Do I think fat acceptance is radical? No. But society does. So, the only useful fat acceptance will be a "radical" fat acceptance. If society isn't threatened by fat acceptance, it would never label it as radical. We need to threaten society as it now is constructed. We need to threaten a culture of fat hatred and bigotry. We need for them to see us as radical.

Feminism didn't get anywhere by playing nice and reassuring men that women we're going to ask for too much. It took a stand and demanded equality and its a struggle that's far from over but which has made enormous strides. Civil rights for blacks was not advanced by playing by the rules of cultural oppressors. It was advanced by taking a clear and firm stand. Always, the leaders who were viewed as dangerous radicals in their time have been come to be seen as forward thinking heroes by history. To the concern trolls, this is not saying that the struggle for fat rights is exactly like the struggles seen by women and blacks in our society. No struggle is every exactly like another, but we can learn from each other all the same. I see much for fat liberation to learn from other civil rights movement and I long for those lessons to be put to use. While we mustn't allow fat hatred to define our defiance as extremist, we must allow it to be seen as radical. We must challenge fat hatred. We must make it uncomfortable. And we must recognize that this isn't just theory. People will be uncomfortable will us. Individuals. We must allow that. We cannot do what is expected of us. We cannot bow to thin privilege, to dieting privilege. We need to stand up for something else and be willing to let people be uncomfortable with us. We need to know that its them. Not us.

Only by doing this, can we begin to change the conversation about fatness. That we can take the way fat oppression is advanced and turn it around on itself. Daniel Engber wrote an article for Slate last week that laid out a good way of doing that. He analyzes the evidence and concludes that not only are politicians wrong to scapegoat fat people, that indeed they have it precisely backwards. That instead of promoting the culture of dieting, these politicians should be asked to pledge their support for a federal ban on weight-based discrimination.

Oddly, when he suggests this he unknowingly points something out that many fat activists miss. He links to the Rudd Center at Yale University, which indeed opposes weight bias. But the group isn't fat positive. While they are genuinely opposed to fat discrimination, they are not part of the fat acceptance movement. That's okay. You can think fat discrimination is wrong without actually thinking its acceptable to be fat. I don't believe this will ultimately be a productive line of thought, but it is clearly one many believe in. Fine. That alone doesn't make something part of fat acceptance. Because ultimately, groups like the Rudd Center aren't really fighting for fat rights. They are fighting against fat discrimination. Perhaps that seems like a subtle distinction, but its a significant one and one I fear fat activists have been loathe to make in a misguided attempt to increase its coalition. In truth, that increase is a mirage. Because fighting for the rights of dieters is different than fighting for the rights of fat people. I can agree with Rudd Center that fat people should not be subjected to ridicule, but I cannot accept their view that fat people are ultimately a problem to be solved. I cannot see them as a true ally even if we agree in some limited ways.

And that's okay. Its okay to agree with some of what someone says without feeling the need to set a big tent to suit us both. Because our common denominator simply isn't enough. It doesn't challenge our society's stigmatization of fat people at its source. The belief that we are wrong and can become "right" if we just tried. That is too important a message to bury in the name of a big tent. There is too much of fat acceptance that ends up on the wrong side of that tent. We need to be willing to say, "I agree with them about this, but not that." Indeed, the Rudd Center isn't afraid and it condemned fat blogs just a couple weeks ago after the New York Times article. It did so by agreeing with us, but then not. We were right to oppose weight bias, but terribly wrong to not support the prevention and elimination of fat people. They drew a distinction. That's what fat acceptance must also do.

I get that some diet blogs follow the Rudd Center's line of thought. That fat people shouldn't be discriminated against. Fine. We agree on that. But they aren't fat acceptance just for that. They aren't progressing towards fat acceptance just because of that. And fat acceptance should not feel the need to act like that is fat acceptance just so we throw a bigger party.

This isn't a party. This isn't a social event. We can have friends we don't completely agree with. Nearly every friend I've ever had has ultimately disagreed with fat acceptance. I have countless friends who have spent years of time, energy, and money dieting. We're still friends. That's okay. But I can't redefine fat acceptance just so we can agree better. I won't limit it to the boundaries of what they'll accept. They don't believe in fat acceptance. And that's okay. They can be my friends. We can agree on elements of what I believe in, but in a fight for civil rights, I can't set the limits by what they'll be willing to accept. Even my friends, I challenge. I won't cheer their dieting. I won't bite my tongue when I tell them where I stand. I don't badger, either. I know where they stand and that's fine. They just need to know where I stand and respect that ultimately, we're in different places. Most respect that. Some don't. The ones who don't are the ones who have the problem. Not me.

Fat Acceptance, as a movement, needs to take the same outlook. It needs to stand for something, not everything. It needs to be willing to let people not agree with it, to let it be see as radical. It needs to contrast itself to change the conversation. I hope that day can come. When fat acceptance is willing to strike a contrast. Its been a long time coming and its a crucial step it trying to really take fat acceptance to the next level. Even a little fat acceptance will get dismissed as extreme, which is why we have to just go all-in on this instead of pecking around the edges of fat hatred. We need to be different, to be distinct. That is how we will grow the movement. By changing the conversation, not changing what we say in the conversation.

When a politician, even one we agree with, demagogues about fatness, we need to turn it around on them and insist they pledge to oppose weight discrimination. When a children's nutrition program defines success by an elimination of fat children, we must resist and demand that the discussion of food and eating be weight neutral. When anti-obesity programs insist that they are just trying to decrease sedentary lifestyles, hold them to their own standards and ask where is the funding for groups like Big Moves, which shows fat people can be anything but sedentary.

Fat acceptance has no donor base to fund its grass roots. It has no network of campus activists being trained to fight the good fight. It is profoundly disadvantaged by cultural forces and it is imperative on us to resist. To push back against oppression with a clarion call for dignity, respect, and equality. We must be willing to be radicals against the dieting hegemony. We must demand a change in the conversation about fat people.

More Reactions to Responses

Or was it responses to reactions? Either way, I'm still peaking in on what people are saying about the concept of fat acceptance. Surprise, surprise, some people still hate us.

One "doctor" suggests that we are "enablers". That's the "fiendish conspiracy" theory of fat acceptance. That we're all just wringing our hands and cackling at the people we're making fat. We're lying to the "weak-willed" victims of our insane plan, you know. He also proceeded to go through what he assumes are our points and agreeing and disagreeing. His agreements are pretty much a template for the Weight Watchers approach: "Oh, sure FAD diets are bad. Not mine, though!" His disagreements frequently just make stuff up that he assumes we must be saying. Like we're saying that exercise is bad and people should eat as much as possible. Um, no. This is the thing with proto-trolls. Not everyone disrespects us by screaming "fatty, fatty, 2x4!" Some do it by misrepresenting what we are saying. And misrepresentation is still lying. Humoring someone like this isn't going to get us anywhere. If he has the capacity to let go of his fat hatred, then he'll do it if we challenge him directly. Not if we praise him for just speaking to us, even if its just to misrepresent us as a means to insult us. There are no ribbons for "participation" in fat acceptance, no prize for mere "attendance".

A few sites (including the "doctor") think we just don't get it. See, they agree that the pursuit of extreme thinness is wrong, but only in its final goal. I guess they assume we all think we must be a size 0 and failing that have decided to be fat. Why don't we try to just be "less fat"? Yeah, few dieters expect to be as thin as they want to be. Every dieter I have ever known has eventually changed the goals into an effort to be "less fat". Still doesn't work. Again, this is a crucial disconnect for people who respond to FA with hostility. They keep coming up with excuses for why we don't "get it" but none of them are ever right. Its not really about understanding us, but rather about fashioning justifications for their initial assumption that we're just looking for an excuse to eat ourselves huge. This ultimately isn't part of the way to fat acceptance. Lots of people think extreme thinness is wrong, but these people generally think fat acceptance is just as wrong. In practice, they think we are more wrong because they'd never actually judge someone for being thin or trying to pursue such thinness. They sure do judge us, though. That's not half-way there. Its faux moderation, which really just serves to define the limits of acceptable opinions to shut us out. It wants the extreme view to be "LOSE WEIGHT" and the moderate view to be "lose weight" so that anything less gets defined as extremist insanity. Its not a bargain we should dignify.

To be sure, there are more clearly trollish responses, but I just don't see a lot of distinctions between the various misrepresentations of fat acceptance. Condemning fat people isn't "listening". I almost prefer the idiot who invents a reality where the fatosphere is a mirror image of the pursuit of thinness or who fantasizes about our chocolate smeared faces. Because you know what he's saying. The "moderate" voices tend to just say the same thing, but without all the insults. They still think we're all just looking for excuses to stuff ourselves. They still think Fat Acceptance is about "Fat Promotion". They just don't sound so hostile about it so they make it all seem so much more reasonable.

Make no mistake, the reasonable trolls enable to hostile ones. By ensuring that fat hatred is a moderate and reasonable position, they enable to bigoted to advance their hostility. Most fat trolls aren't sexist or racist. They don't hate as part of their daily lives. But the "moderate" face of fat hatred has made hating us okay. Socially acceptable. At worst, they'd just be seen as a rascal. No one will ever see their awful bigotry for what it is so long as there are people who dress up fat hatred in a suit and a smile. As easy as it is to identify the hostile trolls, they will never be the real problem. That will always be those who sound measured and reasonable while essentially saying the same thing. They are the doctors who have appointed themselves

The Proud Sport of Sumo

On the Whole links to a Pepsi ad featuring a group of Sumo wrestlers challenging a group of Soccer all-stars at their game to win a cooler of Pepsi. Its a fun, if silly ad that's built around the "see people do amazing things to get some Pepsi!" with the gag being that these fat men were playing beyond their physical ability. In the scheme of things, though, there are worse ways fat people have been the butt of jokes and I still contend that one reason fat hatred is never as shrill against fat men as it is with women is that our bodies are allowed a reality even if just for comedic effect. Yes, the Sumo wrestlers here are meant to be laughed at in a sense, but you still are seeing fat men's bodies. You don't see a fat woman's body. I can count pop culture depictions of an undressed fat woman on two hands and even that's by REALLY stretching. Indeed, I think that's one of the most revolutionary aspects of "How to Look Good Naked" on Lifetime. We actually SEE what fat women look like and the world kept on spinning.

Anyway, I'm off point. My point is that even if its usually a gag, Sumo is actually a REALLY awesome sport. I admit I watched it first out of fat acceptance curiosity, but its quite genuinely inspiring. Here is an athletic competition with such an incredible tradition where size and heft are prized. This is not a bunch of fat people pushing each other around, either. Its a tense struggle between two athletes using a combination of technique and physical power to best their opponent. All while being fat and damn near naked. I can't tell you how much this helped my own self-image. Just seeing a fat body in that context is a real eye-opener. It is a fantastic sport and empowering to boot. I'm not saying there aren't some issues with the culture of Sumo in Japan with some things I find antiquated and stupid, and other things that are just downright xenophobic. But, if I'm being honest, most American sports wouldn't stand up under that scrutiny either, so I won't through the baby out with the bathwater. Honestly, I just can't recommend it enough.

It doesn't seem to be on ESPN anytime soon, but trying to watch out for it. Its really a stunning experience. Though much harder to find on TV, there are women's competitions in sumo.You can read about a Japanese women's Sumo wrestler here.

Your point, again?

So, one bit of hate mail I got suggested that I obviously don't believe in fat acceptance because my blog has no photo of myself. Nonexistent logic, obviously, but also stunningly wrong given my staggering vanity and egotism.

I checked, and in pite of the pointless accusation that there is "nary" a photo of myself on the blog, I count 9 separate photos of myself that I've posted in the last 7 months. Well, now 10.

Just wait until they find out I don't eat Cheeseburgers cuz' I'm a vegetarian.

Response to Reactions

I've been curious about the wider reaction to learning that *gasp* some fat people don't apologize for their size. Scanning the Google Blogs listing for "fatosphere", its illuminating. Here is my response to what some people are saying about us. I'm loathe to give most of these sites hit counts, so you'll indulge me if I generalize the reactions to avoid linking to sites that are insulting us.

One diet blog is dismayed at the article. It takes what I think is meant to be the "moderate" total condemnation of fat acceptance by insisting that self-esteem is something they do believe in. We just shouldn't have it. Fat acceptance is, instead, an act of "fear, loathing, and sacrifice."

Nope. Really isn't. I really am happy with my body. All of the time? Of course not. But enough of the time. Most of the time. Am I afraid to be fat? Well, I guess I'm a little afraid of where fat hatred may take our society. I'm afraid of the Orwellian suggestions being seriously made about how to deal with fat people. I'm not afraid of being fat. Is being fat a sacrifice? Absolutely not. It hasn't kept me from doing anything.

When you are dedicated to losing weight, you are dedicated to the notion that you are RIGHT. That what you are doing is the right choice. Any false toleration always fades under that certainty. You are right. We are wrong. A challenge to the rightness is why so many dieters see fat people as a personal threat. Because accepting fat people DO threaten their personal world view and challenge their priorities. Its also why the diet industry is disproportionately hostile to the small and disorganized band of fat activists. Because while dieters could lash out at us for challenge their world-view, they could also respond by lashing out at the purvayors of that world-view.

Another site sees fat acceptance blogging as kin to pro-anorexia blogs. While this isn't an uncommon reaction, its always aided by people never actually bothering to read what fat acceptance actually says. Which this blog betrays by assuming its all about fat kids teen about how much they are eating. So certain is this blogger that fat people are a product of their wanton eating and sloth that it never occurs to him that fat acceptance could be anything but a feeding trough where people talk about how great it is to eat themselves to death. The notion that fat people hike, run marathons, compete in triathelons, or dance is quite literally unthinkable. These people will never think of that. If presented with evidence of such things they'll deny it or dismiss it. All we will every be to them is a pack of gluttons. We can argue all day long, but they'll still think we're trying to justify an unhealthy lifestyle.

Several sites seem quite proud with their retort to fat acceptance. I'm not sure this got into Bingo, but it should have. Essentially, their reasoned reaction to all we could ever say will always be: "Yeah, but have you seen all the fatties around?" They simply know that there are too many fat people. They simply know there is visual evidence which proves we are wrong. I mean, have you seen all the fatties? In the malls? At Walmart? At McDonalds? On the evening news below the neck? Haven't you seen them? How can you argue with such logic?

Well, there are more fat people than there used to. Not as much as we've been led to believe, but sure there are more. No sense denying it, because it hardly proves any of their point. The existence of more fat people doesn't preclude a genetic component. Genetics could be part of WHY there are more. But the truth is, that for all the "Video games!", "Fast Food!", "TV!" blame gaming going on, there is a simple explanation. There is something that our population has been exposed to for the last few decades which has been shown to induce weight gain.

Dieting. Nearly every fat person in this country has been on a diet. Most probably have dieted for most of their life. Not only do most people on diets gain the weight back, most gain back more than they lost. As our diet culture has expanded, its gripped more and more people who'd have never dieted before. And at younger and younger ages. I can't tell you how many fat people I've seen bemoan how they thought they were huge when they were young, but looking back realize they weren't much more than average. As fat has been hyper-stigmatized, its directed people into a system which has only ever proven useful for making people GAIN weight. You want to know why there are so many fat people around? How about blaming diets for once instead of doing everything possible to blame everything else.

A few sites offered the mathematical proof of our wrongness. You know how our lives can be measured purely by functions of calories in/calories out in spite of there being no reason to think that the human metabolism is remotely that simplistic? Yeah, that's out in force.

Did you know fat people like to eat? Some folks on the internet seem to. We seem to be second only to cats in our desire for cheeseburgers. But, I forget that this kind of taunting is accepted as reasonable discourse on the fatosphere, so I guess no reason to bring it up.

One site doesn't like fat acceptance, but also doesn't like the diet industry. So it somehow twists fat acceptance into really just being the first step towards losing weight without diets. Yeah, not the point.

Another site, I think compared fat people to gays. Not as a means of showing our shared experiences and unity, but rather to show why we're both burning in hell. Does that mean Carson is Satan?

And a bunch of sites, were actually open-minded. Some very much so, some still clinging to negative beliefs but clearly being open to changing their views. Which was nice to see. But also a reminder of why we shouldn't keep treating those who aren't like they are. See, some sites were introduced to fat acceptance and were just open-minded. They didn't need to be humored while they mocked us incessantly. They didn't demand concessions before they listened to us. The were willing to just listen. That's open-mindedness. That's a good thing. All of the hostile reactions, though, are nothing I haven't seen a million times when someone stumbles onto fat acceptance on their own and posts that hostility here. We can spend a life-time suffering those fools, or we can cut the crap and talk with people who are willing to listen. Letting the fools run rough-shod over us accomplishes nothing. Its not winning open-mindedness. Its not being open and tolerant. People don't need to bargained with to have an open-mind. People don't need to be coddled to have an open mind. There are people who just do, and we'd do more if we spent time with those people instead of wasting it on the "You're wrong, and here's why" crowd.

For the record...

First supportive email rolled in at 1.30pm, so there are good things, too.

Again, my suggestions for more worthwhile things to do than visit this site is to check out "Big Buts", Junkfood Science, and buy a calendar from Big Moves.

That sure took a while

First "not getting it" email clocks in at 12:35pm. Well, I guess there other sites mentioned that had to get them, too.

A warning to everyone preaching the gospel of weight loss, I've heard it before. Every fat person, whether self-loathing or self-accepting, has heard it before. You have nothing to say that hasn't been said thousands of times already.

This week.

As of Tuesday.

There is a reason "I did it! So can you!" is on Fat Hate Bingo. Because its a tired old line that is repeatedly passed off as a contribution to the discussion when its really just yet another attempt to end the discussion. Other sites may want to hear about how glorious weight loss is for you. I'm not one.

So don't expect me to be wowed by your tales of having beaten off your demons. Don't expect me to be cowed by your story of "achievment". Don't expect me to be proud of what you've done.

I'm not.

You think you're the first person to lose weight and preach about it to others? To preach about it to people who do not care? To preach with the self-certainty the your revealed truth will be welcomed by the heathens?

You're not.

You hate fat? Your fat, my fat, someone else's fat? I don't care. Or rather, I don't care to listen to you try to justify it to me. You won't justify it to me so its a waste of both of our times.

You think your life was hopeless while fat? Pointless while fat? Unfulfilled while fat? I don't agree. I don't need to hear you explain why you needed to hate yourself as a fat person? Because I've heard it before, and I just don't agree. I don't believe any fat person's life is hopeless. I don't believe any one's fat is unacceptable.

It is okay to be fat. The world will keep spinning. Your life will go on. You will be able to find love, happiness, and health in your fat body. I know this is true so I will not give up on anyone. I will not decide that fat hatred is okay for anyone. I will not accept fat hate, diet talk, or any other destructive activities. Those are nothing new and they've accomplished nothing. It doesn't matter if you're in the 1%. It doesn't matter if you really, really want to be thin. I don't accept fat hatred for anyone.

Not even you.

Check this out

Well, since you are here, go check this stuff out...

She Dances on the Sand has been doing a good FA intro series called "Big Buts" that is well worth reading.

As always, be sure to check out Junkfood Science for Sandy's consistently good reporting. She's a tremendous resource for fat acceptance and worth reading AND supporting if you are able. Try to check out her PayPal donation link if you can.

And before January is up, go buy a Big Moves 2008 Wall Calendar. You get 13 months of size positive quips and photos by the extraordinary writer and activist Jaclyn Friedman, and it supports a fantastic organization.